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All Hallows Eve Advice for Surviving a Garden Gnome Attack

by Fern on October 31, 2010

in Book Review

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On this, the afternoon before Halloween festivities get started, I have been reading through my review copy of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, by Chuck Sambuchino. Since this advice is of the utmost of importance and relevancy, I thought I would share three of Chuck’s ideas for protecting, defending, and doing hand-to-hand combat with garden gnomes.

  1. Construct a Moat – According to Sambuchino, garden gnomes cannot swim. If possible, dig a trench around your home and fill it with water. This is an effective means of thwarting an attack on your home.
  2. Keep Multiple Bicycles on Hand – Apparently garden gnomes often disable automobiles, in order to prevent their victims’ escape. If you have several alternate methods of escape, your odds of survival improve.
  3. Partially Block Doorways – By placing objects in doorways that limit access, gnomes will have to enter in single file, making it easier for you to knock them off, and discouraging further attacks.

I hope these ideas help you have a safe, and happy Halloween. Find more garden gnome protection ideas in How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, it’s a fun, easy read.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Mary C. November 1, 2010 at 10:59 am

Love it! Reminds me of the youtube video about winter protection against this invasive species :)

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Laura November 1, 2010 at 10:10 pm

That was a good laugh! I read it to my husband. He’s now trying to convince me to let him build a moat :)

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Candy Suter November 2, 2010 at 12:33 am

Good one! Creepy for Halloween!

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Urban Gardens November 2, 2010 at 7:42 am

Ha, thanks for sharing! Here’s a modern take on the garden gnome:
http://ow.ly/33aj6

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