On this, the afternoon before Halloween festivities get started, I have been reading through my review copy of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, by Chuck Sambuchino. Since this advice is of the utmost of importance and relevancy, I thought I would share three of Chuck’s ideas for protecting, defending, and doing hand-to-hand combat with garden gnomes.
- Construct a Moat – According to Sambuchino, garden gnomes cannot swim. If possible, dig a trench around your home and fill it with water. This is an effective means of thwarting an attack on your home.
- Keep Multiple Bicycles on Hand – Apparently garden gnomes often disable automobiles, in order to prevent their victims’ escape. If you have several alternate methods of escape, your odds of survival improve.
- Partially Block Doorways – By placing objects in doorways that limit access, gnomes will have to enter in single file, making it easier for you to knock them off, and discouraging further attacks.
I hope these ideas help you have a safe, and happy Halloween. Find more garden gnome protection ideas in How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, it’s a fun, easy read.